I Suck At Relationships So You Don't Have To (N) by Bethenny Frankel

Author:Bethenny Frankel
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Retail, Nonfiction
ISBN: 9781451667417
Publisher: Touchstone
Published: 2015-04-07T04:00:00+00:00

The Needy Wife

This all changes a bit when you are married, but married people can definitely still deal with neediness, especially when it becomes a marital pattern. You cling, he withdraws, you cling harder, he withdraws more. This is a frustrating cycle, and you can’t just leave or be mysteriously unavailable or not answer texts if you’re married. You live together and you have joint responsibilities. However, you can still shake it up. Don’t be a sack all day. Get up and go do something. You’ve gotten your night of romance. Now get back to your life. Get back to work, whatever that is for you. Get back to you. Put it in perspective—it was great, but so are all the other things you get to do with your day. You’re a hot passionate wife—and also so much more. Do something that has nothing to do with your husband or kids. Do what needs to be done. You don’t have to neglect your family, but focus on getting your confidence back for a while. Do something you enjoy, something outside of the house. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel.

Sometimes you have to be okay with not talking because men (and some women) need to retreat, and you can benefit from it, too. When you are really having a problem and you know the neediness and fighting have to flush out, step back and let it be for a while without any intervention. I know this is impossible. No, not impossible, but hard. We panic. We don’t understand how he can go out and play golf after a fight and not want to talk about every aspect of a disagreement, but men are different beings. You have to give them a break. Let them work things out in their own way. Let it breathe. You can’t always impose a discussion just because you feel like having it at that moment.

I know this is harder than I’m making it sound. There is always that fear that if you don’t cling, if you don’t put your plans on hold, he might disappear. You might think that the person who loved you yesterday won’t love you today if you take a break from each other. There is always that feeling that the romance was so good that you are addicted and you don’t want to miss the chance to get more. What if you act like that mind-blowing night was no big deal? Will he think you’re not really interested and move on to someone else?

Of course not. There is nothing more intriguing and addictive to a guy than a girl who breezes out after a great night, like it was no big deal. He won’t understand why you aren’t following him around, and his next move will be to follow you around to figure you out. Men love a good mystery and a woman who isn’t too easy to manipulate or understand. Men also need space, and if you give it to them, they will be even more head over heels about you.

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